This poem is one I’ve struggled to write for three years or so. The experience itself is a struggle of longer duration. When I found myself on the Jesus Way again after being a non-believer for forty years or so, I also saw that Christ asked more of me than acceptance of miracles and belief. I feel much ambivalence about what Symeon’s revelation means for me. —Franchot Ballinger
Awakened in the Word
“We awaken in Christ’s body….”
—Symeon the New Theologian
A few sank in prayer. One paced a silent anger.
Another wept. All lost in dark’s skull.
No one spoke except in a cry up to him
Like a hand beseeching, a longing.
His face was ashen, the flame of each miracle
At which we had warmed ourselves—
Water to wine, walking on the sea,
Artesian springs of quenching love—
Having burned down to this. I am the Way,
He said, but surely he did not mean
This guttering air, these
Tatters of light upon the cross,
Shroud of our own agony
And our sorrow
Like a curtain rent.
In his eyes’ last light we knew
His flesh, his death, now ours
Be born again, he said.
This knowing…
Is it womb or grave?
—Franchot Ballinger, a 2014 graduate of School of the Spirit, shares two ministries beyond Eastern Hills Friends Meeting, his home meeting: creation care as a volunteer with the Cincinnati Nature Center; and spiritual companionship with the dying and their families as a spiritual care volunteer with Hospice of Cincinnati.