Church?

After several decades of not attending church services, a good friend of mine has decided she wants to return to “church.” She grew up attending a mainline church in a small Midwest town, and she now lives in a major city in the Midwest. Literally, she has hundreds, perhaps a few thousand, choices of churches to attend.

I asked her why she was returning to church at this point in her life. Being a pastor and chaplain, I was keenly interested in her answer. I email her my messages on a weekly basis, and we talk about whatever interest they spur within her. She had done some research on churches in her area, and found one that’s within 20 minutes of her home which she is planning to visit. Here’s why she plans to visit “Church A”:

First, she misses being part of a community. She wants to go to a larger church where there are lots of people to meet.

Second, she wants that church to be active in its community, because she wants to find a way to be active. She has volunteered in the past, but it became a strain on her family time. Participating through a church might be a better balance for her.

Third, the church offers many small groups, which meet throughout the week. She wants to find at least one group, if not more, to join. This also fulfills her need to be involved in community.

Fourth, they have a coffee shop. She is excited about that.

There is no fifth, really. Those are the four main reasons she wants to attend Church A. Being a pastor and a chaplain, I asked her about the beliefs of this church, and she said, “Honestly, I haven’t even looked. I’m not sure how much I care, and I guess I’ll find out listening to the sermon Sunday.”

Naturally, I followed the link and read the church’s Statement of Faith, etc. It was an interesting read, and it wasn’t what I expected. The Statement of Faith felt very legalistic and conservative for a church advertising a series called “Death to Religion,” which also states the Bible is inerrant in its original writing. The language seemed very exclusive—God the Father, Jesus the Son, the Holy Spirit. My theological wheels were spinning in high gear.

And then I throttled down. My friend really could care less about Trinitarian theology, nor the place of Jesus in the Godhead. She wasn’t really interested whether the church defined itself in exclusive, legalistic views either. She was more interested in having a cup of coffee with a community of like-minded individuals, and I told her that I hoped and prayed she found that.

I wonder if that’s what most folks are looking for when they go to church, and I wonder if that’s what they’re finding? As our Meetings dwindle in size, and we search for answers to keep our doors open and our communities vital, what messages are we hearing and not hearing? Whose needs are getting our attention? Who needs our love? Who is the church?

—Susann Estle-Cronau

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