At the end of the year retreat, the QVS Fellows and I gathered in idyllic Vermont to reflect upon the past year and set intentions for the next. One way we did this was to build a cairn in the middle of one of the many rivulets that vein their way through the Green Mountains. Cairns are piles of stones that have traditionally served as both a memorial to a deceased community member and a turn in the trail, major shifts in the ongoing journey of the community.
With each stone we stacked we named an intention for next year, “to be more present to making connections, to be easier on myself, to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing with my life” and so on. Once we had each placed our stone upon the previous, precariously balancing the smooth river rocks, we then reversed the order. The last to stack waded back out into the knee deep current, lifted the stone, and said the thing they were letting go of, whether it was an unfulfilled expectation from the previous year, or a forgiveness over past hurt that need to be extended. We tossed our stone downstream as far as we could with a swallowing “thunk.”
I was the last to go, and hadn’t planned on participating, but the QVSers thought I should as well. I closed my eyes and asked the Holy Spirit to show me where she was leading me this year. Lifting my stone with both hands, I said, “I’ve always judged my life against some standard of success, wanting to make sure that when I’m on my death bed, I look back without regret. I’m letting go of life as something to either succeed or fail at, and recognize that it’s all a gift and worthy of wonder” and hurled the small boulder as far as I could.
Ross Hennesy is the assistant director of Quaker Voluntary Service. He became a convinced Quaker in 2004 at Harrisburg Monthly Meeting and has been a member at Germantown Monthly Meeting in Philadelphia since 2007. He completed a Master’s program in the Religious Studies department at Temple University, studying social movements, activism, and religion. In 2008, he helped found an intentional community and urban farm in Northwest Philadelphia where he continues to live. He also remains active in Germantown Monthly Meeting and in Philadelphia Yearly Meeting.
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